Infusions - April 4th

What I'm reading, watching, who I'm listening to, and where I'm finding inspiration and connection right now.

I’ve been wanting to write an update (and hopefully continue to write updates) like this for several months now. Substack feels like the right place to share what I’m reading, and I genuinely enjoy sharing my current inspirations. I’m hoping to do these weekly, or possibly every two weeks (I’m admittedly not a very fast reader) but we’ll see how things play out.

I feel like sharing these thing is important for two main reasons. One, if I’m finding something life-giving, inspirational, and supportive, you may, too, and I want you to know about it! But on a deeper level, I talk a lot in my teaching about the importance of lineage, or knowing who is teaching your teacher. (You can read about it in my book!) Understanding where your teacher or guide is drawing inspiration gives you more context for your relationship with them and allows you to see your teacher as a student as well.

So, now that all that’s out of the way, let’s dive in!

What I’m Listening To:

I have recently discovered audio books, and I have fallen head over heels! I know I’m late to this game, but damn, how wonderful! Being able to ride my bike around town and listen to something so enriching has been such a joy these last few months.

I get a lot of my audiobooks free from my local library and the Libby App, which you should definitely have. Some, though, I can’t find on Libby, and I don’t want to support Amazon, so I use Libro.Fm! Same style as Audible, but the money goes to support the local bookstore of your choosing! Use my link to sign up for their monthly subscription plan and you can dump Bezos while supporting your favorite local bookstore all at the same time!

Here are my most recent listens:

Heartland: A Memoir of Working Hard and Being Broke in the Richest Country on Earth by Sarah Smarsh

My sister recommended this book to me as she worked with this author while she was at The University of Kansas. My sister and I are both Kansas natives and this book is deeply touching. As a Kansan, I don’t often have my culture represented in media, unless it’s a Wizard of Oz or Wicked reference, and this book so beautifully painting the picture of where my childhood took place. (Another piece of media that showcases my home well is the TV series Somebody Somewhere on HBO, definitely worth a watch.) My family was much more fortunate than Smarsh’s, and her story is not mine, but is painfully adjacent. Her story is the story of many of my friends, and in some way the story of the land we grew up on. I realize it may not hit for people who didn’t grow up there, but the journalistic memoir certainly does a wonderful job of inviting people into a world whether it’s familiar or not. Throughout she makes wonderful points about the nature of poverty and how it manifests in the US. Honestly a must read for anyone who wants a deeper, more personal understanding of how we got to where we are in the US today.

The World Ending Fire: The Essential Wendell Berry by Wendell Berry

HOLY SHIT WENDELL BERRY, Y’ALL. This was my first foray into Berry’s work, and I must say, WOW. In talking to others about this book, many folks have shared that they have only read Berry’s poetry, which I have yet to get into. What strikes me as interesting is that the work that Berry is likely most famous for is likely not his most radical (because of course). In these essays, Berry takes on everything from racism to capitalism, religious hypocrisy to colonialism. This book was equal parts encouraging and inspiring, although not a particularly easy read, Berry doesn’t pull any punches. Like, at all. I felt like I had found a piece of home as I read words that articulated thoughts I’ve been chewing on for months—even more impressive because Berry wrote them over a decade before I was born. I found myself shouting amen over and over again. I cannot think of a more important book for the times we find ourselves in. Berry cuts to the heart of the matter and offers real world solutions. OHMYGOD, Y’ALL, JUST READ THIS ALREADY!

What I’m Reading

For as much as I know people on the internet want to fight me on this, I don’t think audiobooks are reading. They are listening. You’re still infusing yourself with the content, which in my mind is what matters most, but it is not reading. So, here are the things I’ve been drawn to actually read.

It’s the same book, y’all! Honestly, I don’t think I would have been able to pick this up and read it if I hadn’t started with the audiobook (which is expertly narrated by Nick Offerman, who I believe in my heart of hearts is one of my long-lost best friends/soulmates). Listening before I started reading set the pace and tone for me in a way I wouldn’t have been able to do on my own. As I listened, I felt more and more drawn to circle and underline, rewrite and quote. I picked up the physical copy and have been slowly making my way through it sometimes on my own, and sometimes while jointly listening to the sections I’m reading. It feels nice to follow along in the book like that. Again, this book is incredible and whether you read it or listen to it I don’t care, you just need it in your heart, mind, and body like asap.

Woodsqueer: Crafting a Sustainable Rural Life by Gretchen Legler

I purchased this book a couple years ago as my interest in the natural world was just starting to pique. I only ever leafed through it before it ended up on the nightstand of doom, the table beside my bed that collects piles of books that almost never get picked back up again. But after spending so much time with Wendell these last several weeks, I felt compelled to rescue this book from it’s dark, unread fate. Only a few chapters in, but the writing is lovely and in some ways feels closer to home than Berry’s, only because it’s written by a queer woman. It feels like a good practice to explore the same topic from multiple sources, written about from differing identities and experiences. I’ll give a more full write up once I finish it, but so far, so good!

Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge, and the Teachings of Plants by Robin Wall Kimmerer

Maybe you’re seeing a theme here? Or two? Clearly I’m late to this party as well, but this book is incredible and powerful. I’m feeling especially touched by the stories Kimmerer shares. Also, I’m clearly craving a deeper and more profound connection to the Earth and Nature, these books are helping. I recently enrolled in a two year training program to become an eco-spiritual director, and this is the first book we have been assigned to read before the program officially starts in September. This book feels like a portal to a more liminal space. I read about her and her family’s connection to pecan trees, and then found three growing in my garden beds the next morning. I promptly transplanted them to the yard and have been watching them grow for the last week or so. I read about how she and her siblings would gather wild strawberries, and within hours received a digital coupon from HEB for $2 off strawberries. It feels like this book is going to change me and my life profoundly, so I’m taking it slow, so it can seep in and grow strong roots.

What I’m Watching

TV and Movies are huge sources of inspiration for me, and I find a lot of meaning even in silly shows I’ve watched over and over.

Community

There are several shows I tend to bounce around and cycle through on a regular basis and Community is one of my favorites. It’s smart, witty, and has enough depth that it can withstand multiple watches. Even a decade later it still mostly holds up, and even where it transgresses, it does so in such a self-aware manner that it feels more tongue in cheek than outright offensive. I started my most recent rewatch of it when I decided to go back to school and started taking classes at Austin Community College, and yes I took Spanish. This go around, I’m enjoying the way the group bonds despite differences, and how their connection and continued commitment to each other are the catalyst for their growth and development as well as plenty of goofy antics.

The White Lotus

I watch the first episode of every season of White Lotus and think, “God, this is gross.” And honestly, it is. But somehow I keep coming back to watch rich people behave badly, as if I don’t see enough of that in the news and in my daily life. While on the surface White Lotus is an over-the-top display of privilege and the kind of wealth no one should be able to amass, as you watch, you realize every season is more like a cautionary tale than an endorsement. This season is no different, but it’s setting in Thailand seems to be drawing out more overtly spiritual undertones than previous seasons and is asking some deeply powerful questions. All I have to say is, if Pornchai is the one who dies, I’m going to be so fucking pissed.

Other Inspirations and Connections

Maybe it’s not entertainment or media that’s offering me solace, sometimes it’s a place, a friendship, a community, a practice. Here’s where I’m finding myself drawn these days:

My Garden!

I don’t think you can be a spiritually minded person and read Wendell Berry’s essays and not immediately start gardening. We first put these beds in in 2020 during lockdown and had an incredible time (and harvest!) for a few seasons, but then life sped back up and we’ve neglected the soil the past couple years. As I’ve been intentionally trying to slow my life down, gardening feels both more accessible and more meaningful than it has since lockdown. Seeing the beds full of vegetables and herbs, seeing the yard fill with volunteer wildflowers, getting my hands in the dirt have all felt deeply healing. I even branched out and tore up some sod in our yard to plant potatoes DIRECTLY INTO THE GROUND. And wow, y’all, what a crazy and amazing feeling. Mr. Berry was certainly right about working with the land.

How About You?!

I’d love for these posts to be a place where you can share where you’re drawing inspiration and support. I’m always open to new book, tv, and movie recommendations, and I’d love to hear about what practices you’ve found that are supporting you in such challenging times. Please drop a comment down below!

BONUS!

If you’re looking for more connection and community, I’m hosting an Enneagram Cohort this summer and I’d love for you to be a part! You can find out more about it here!